I ate a salad for lunch today, hear me roar

I titled this post “I ate a salad for lunch today,” because I indeed ate (read:  am currently eating) a salad for lunch today.  You might be thinking, silly Katie, this is not something worth writing about!  Let alone post it on Facebook!  Everyone eats salads!  To which I will reply, not true, this is fake news, an alternative fact, I do not eat salads, because I am not a rabbit (in a similar fashion to Ron Swanson).  However, today I decided to stray from my usual lunch route of the leftovers (because I haven’t cooked anything substantial in a while, and thus have no leftovers) or a classic PB&J with a side of fruit (because I was too lazy to make said sandwich).  Plus, I had my last good piece of fruit for breakfast, because I was too unmotivated to make anything for that, either.  Even cereal seemed too hard.

You know what else is hard?  Being an adult.  I don’t know what I’m doing.  I don’t meal prep for the week.  I don’t know how to invest.  I don’t even have a credit card.  (Side note:  I tried to go to the bank to open a credit account this weekend, but my CAR BATTERY is DEAD, so I had to cancel.  At least, I think it’s dead.  It’s a Prius, so who knows.)  Luckily, I have many friends in Nashville who would can help me jump my car.  (Wrong!)  I’ll figure something out.

Anyways, my point is that being an adult is hard.  So I’m eating a salad today, because that’s what adults seem to eat for lunch in the workplace.  I never really liked them, but I think that’s because I never really figured out how to make them.  Usually, they just seem like soggy leaves covered in a little too much dressing.  The trick, it seems, is to create an mixture that cannot be approximated as a homogeneous solution (i.e. each bite MUST BE differentiable from the next).  More specifically, the inhomogeneity of the salad relates directly to its size:  the larger the salad, the more ingredients necessary to create individual, awesome bites.  If the salad is too uniform (i.e. all bites are significantly similar), then you’ll get bored by bite #3.  Also, you should probably always put some of those little corn chip strips in for some crunchy fun.

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